This is the week to turn in your shoe boxes. What a great way to start Christmas and a new tradition for me and my kids. This is what good does.

The first night I slept away from my children consisted of a phone call to my children to tell them I loved them and to wish them good night. From that day forward, I’m pretty close to clockwork with my “good morning” wake up calls and my “good night” bedtime calls.

Recently my daughter has discovered Skype via her new computer we bought her for school. She’s addicted, and for the time being she wants to talk to her dad all the time. I will talk to her like I did as a teenager for as long as she’ll do it. Skype truly is a godsend for this divorced dad. I get to see her vibrant face and beaming personality instead of just hearing her voice. She reads to me now and we comment about the habits and factoids of monkeys and giraffes. She begins every video conversation with a funny face and she ends each one by kissing the camera.

If you are recently divorced, a $300 computer would be an awesome present for your child. The laptop gives them the freedom to move around and show you things that excites them – new clothes or what the pet is doing at the time. Skype makes a bad situation better. A godsend.

Worth linking to for brush up reading. I’d re-tweet it but then it would be gone just as fast. These 10 things for divorced dads might sound obvious, but it is usually the obvious advice that reminds us that we have stopped doing the obvious stuff that divorced dads need to do.

Embrace the obvious.

Is this why my vegan friends are so hard to deal with? Please – somebody find a way to make this taste good. Pea, Hemp, Rice with a variety of greens. I paid for it. I need to find a way to make it good. Suggested use is to add only with water for optimal flavor.

No.

Over the past year or so, I have noticed a rallying cry amongst radio personalities to condemn the practice of handing out trophies at the end of the season for Little League sports. This is absurd. Every single year I played any type of Little League sport, I got a trophy. If we won the championship, we got a special trophy that dwarfed the trophy we received for participation. This trophy signified that we beat the tar out of our opponents and they knew it!

Receiving a trophy – whether you win a championship or not – is a physical memory of the season played. It is remembering the other kids on your team. It is something you can proudly put on your dresser that reminds you that you gave it your all and had fun doing it. There is not a kid (in history) that received an end-of-the-season trophy and then mistook that to mean that they really did win the championship despite losing most of their games.

But what did they remember? They remembered the plays where they came together and achieved something against the odds before them. They remember goofing off at practice and making new friends. They remembered the cheering parents mistaking their game for a pro sport and screaming at the top of their lungs. They remembered how it felt to win together. That trophy cements these memories.

Last year, I coached my son’s basketball team. We didn’t lose a game. At the end of the season, my primary concern was that each child enjoyed playing the game and hopefully I was a part of making that happen.  I wanted them to understand that it took every member of the team to achieve the success we attained. Moreover, I hoped each child grew as a player and a person during the course of the season – that they were able to take on a larger challenge and succeed. [You should have seen the precision of our Box-In-One!]

Yes, we won. That is supposed to be the end result, but these games are about so much more than winning (and I am a strong advocate of winning). If we had lost that last game and not won the championship, would these kids still have deserved a trophy? Of course they should, because the game is just so much more than the last team standing.

This part of the series, My Children’s Health.

Calories are based on a recommended 1600 calorie diet for a 10 yr old female with low activity (just things a regular kid would do during the day).
Program Used: http://caloriecount.about.com

Unfortunately, my children are unavailable for this experiment so I did a conservative estimation of what children might eat in a day. This is meant to represent a day where mom or dad just didn’t have time to cook dinner. My ex-wife works. I work. We have activities. You know how it goes.

I know that my children eat horribly when they get home from school. I’m scared to get the real details from them. My ex does make a good effort to feed them with a balanced diet, but I do think they consume too many sweets in proportion to more nutritional foods. We’ll see about that later.

Another thing we have to consider is that children rarely finish what is in front of them. Visit your child  for lunch at school and be amazed at what kids don’t eat. Seriously…they don’t eat. Full milks, white and chocolate…never opened. So we have to think about undernourishment in conjunction with that horrible mess that is being served to them via the cafeteria. We need a Jamie Oliver at every school!

So here is my mock up day:

BREAKFAST:
Before anyone starts shouting, “I don’t feed my kids that stuff!”, I get it. The fact that you are on this site suggests you give a damn. But giving a damn doesn’t mean we can’t improve. My main concern (for myself) is proper nourishment and under nourishment. My own children have cereals with their mom that I would not buy, so I chose to include it. I threw in some sausages and, to be honest, forgot the fruit. They always get fruit. Of course, they also have pancakes and waffles…anyway.

LUNCH & DINNER:
Lunch at school. Does everyone remember the school pizza? Children really don’t need good food, right? Just make sure it has large doses of sugar or salt and you’ll be good. This is not the place for my rant on school food, so I’ll leave it at that. I just remember the pizza, corn and chocolate milk. This is definitely the meal where you can say that our children are extremely malnourished (mainly from the lack of supervision). There is no one there to tell them to eat, so they don’t. Keep in mind that I did not include whatever the dessert might be (the one thing they usually finish).

So mom or dad is running late from work, or there was soccer practice or drama. No time to prepare and make a meal. Fast food is always there to help. Could there be anything less nutritious than fast food? Candy, I suppose. And as a business model, I applaud fast food. At this moment, I could get into my car and go to any fast food restaurant, stuff myself and be a happy camper. For that matter, a Little Caeser’s pizza is only $5. Can you beat a $5 pepperoni pizza? I think not.

But all this is besides the point. If you fast food once a week, whatever. 3 & 4 times a week is going to be a problem. Look at the calories in small size Happy Meal. I can’t remember if there is a sugar treat with the Happy Meal. Regardless, no sane adult can claim a Happy Meal to be a passable dinner.

SNACKS:

I threw in one 12 oz coke and some fruit chews. I’m positive my children inhale more sweets than this if they have the pantry to themselves. Again, scared to know.

TOTAL CALORIES IN A CHILD’S DIET:

1917.4

So we are over 317 calories based on my 10 year daughter. What is our analysis of Protein, Carbohydrates and Fat? Maybe our grade (B-) is part of the problem with our epidemic. This menu ranks a clear F with me. Let’s look at the nutritional breakdown:

Kind of says it all, doesn’t it? Carbohydrates, Saturated Fats and Sodium are all rated Too High. Fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C and Calcium are rated Too Low. This is a B-?

Again – I created this fictitious day. The good news is that this is not everyday. The bad news is that obesity (adults and children) is going up every year in this country. Based on the lunches that I see everyday at my kid’s school, I have a bad feeling that many of our children are undernourished and/or eating some really sub-par substitutes. If a child is undernourished a little each day, would we actually be able to notice?  What effect would this consistent malnourishment lead to? There are good fats and bad fats, good carbs and bad carbs, better forms of protein. This is what needs to be sorted through.

This is my quest for myself concerning my two children. I’ll take any input along the way.

How much is it worth to put my children’s health first?

Put simply, it is time for me to pay more attention to my children’s health – what they eat and their activity levels. Before my own schedule. Before the fury of extra-curricular activities.  It is time to stop looking at a Happy Meal as an adequate meal (others might do this). It is time to stop looking at Chik-Fil-a as an alternative because I haven’t prepared for the meal that is now upon us. [Note: I love you Chik-Fil-A. I do. But I can't support you anymore if I'm going to lose my own weight and get healthier.]

Obesity stats of adults are sobering. Look at the chart from the previous link and be astonished as you visually see the rise in obesity in this country from 1985 to 2010. It’s pitiful. It is inexcusable.

• Approximately 17% (or 12.5 million) of children and adolescents aged 2—19 years are obese.
• Since 1980, obesity prevalence among children and adolescents has almost tripled. (from CDC).

My thought is simple: If I choose to be overweight and out of shape, then that is an adult making a decision. If, however, my children are overweight or obese, that is completely on the parent. No excuse. Our children’s health must be addressed and I’ll start with my own as I have much learning to do on the subject. I do worry that my children are not getting enough protein, good fats and good carbohydrates. I worry that my daughter is not getting enough calcium. I can stop all this worrying by pulling myself out of ignorance and learn a little bit.

Here goes.

A day in the life of a child’s diet. – Here is a scary portrayal of how your child might be eating. At the very least, it will make you pause and consider what you are feeding your child. Our goal is to take this knowledge and move forward to a smarter way of providing nutrition for our children.

That is what she said.

• Very little cardio.
• Walking, but leisurely while talking to friends.
• Refusal to truly watch what she eats.
• Then – and this is the kicker – not paying attention to what she eats. It doesn’t matter if it is not healthy as long as it is a 100 calorie pack. Oreos? Whatever.

Why am I not losing weight?

I have never asked myself that question. I never asked why I was overweight. I knew why. My son – 8 yrs – does not want an out-of-shape dad. He has said it to me in more than one way. He wants a healthy dad that can play with him until we both give out of breath. As much as I love the goodness of all those unhealthy foods, I love him, my daughter and myself more.

Our educational system has failed to address the issues of health. We should have a thorough knowledge of how our body works and how certain foods are good for us and how others are bad. This lack of continuing health education has created a nation of  unhealthy fat asses. Is there any other way to say it?

• Percent of adults age 20 years and over who are obese: 34% (2007-2008)
• Percent of adults age 20 years and over who are overweight (and not obese): 34% (2007-2008)
• Percent of adolescents age 12-19 years who are obese: 18% (2007-2008)
• Percent of children age 6-11 years who are obese: 20% (2007-2008)
• Percent of children age 2-5 years who are obese: 10% (2007-2008)

[from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm]

And these stats are from 2007-2008!

We have become a country of people who rationalize our weight – more importantly, our health. Instead of pushing each other to get healthier (and make no mistake, it is truly about being healthier as opposed to looking like a movie star), we have told each other that we are just fine the way we are. Look around. Look at the stats above. We are not just fine.

Until we stop making excuses, nothing will change. Isn’t that what we teach to our children? Do we entertain our children rationalizing why they did not do their homework? I don’t. I turn off the tv and point them to their books.

This rant is sponsored by another couple of pounds lost. How? Exercise, counting calories and eating healthier foods. I am no where near the healthy man that I want to be, but it starts here. And I’ll be honest, the simplicity of enacting better habits made me feel like an idiot for not doing it before now. The plus side of getting healthier is the positive state of mind that you create for yourself. If you have multiple days of eating well and exercising, you start to take on some of the fun side of yourself that might have disappeared. Why? Because you are doing it. Really doing it. Or maybe that is just me.

“Yeah boy. This weight is coming off!” (Dancing in front of mirror doing Rocky dance).

I do the dance, laughing along with the out-of-shape guy in the mirror who plans on changing…a little bit more…each day. I’m unveiling next spring break. Bank on it.

Thank Steve Jobs for iPhone Apps. They make up one, very efficient personal assistance that keeps me going in the right direction every day. So it is no surprise that I rely heavily on them for my quest of not being a fat ass (See previous Pedometer app post).

Lose It is an iPhone weight loss app that lets me input what I’ve eaten vs how much I have worked out. It is that simple. I always perceived counting calories as girly. Now that I actually want to lose weight, I see it as an obvious necessity. As you can see in the picture, calories (from exercising) are subtracted from calories eaten to give your net calories for any specific moment. This tells you how much more you can eat.

For example, yesterday (see picture) I got caught up in work and did not eat as much as I probably should have. I’ve already given myself a lower calorie goal so I can lose weight faster. I got off track by eating a pound of pork that I was supposed to save for the rest of the week! It just tasted so damn good, I kept eating. That screwed me as I felt like I ate the whole pig. The point is that you can see what you’ve done for the day as you go along and make decisions based on real numbers.

Easy. Time efficient.

How many calories can I burn in an hour while walking? I downloaded a pedometer for this very reason. I need my calorie count to input into my other app, Lose It. It gives me an approximate calorie count that I can use. It gives me distance, as well, but I’m not concerned with much beyond calories. I don’t want to think to much about it. Just give me the number.

Why is the calorie count so important? Because I need to eat. Burned calories represent more food to me during the day. And if you have ever counted calories, you know how surprising it can be that six potato chips equal 120 calories. Damn! I don’t eat chips, but damn!

Time: 62:33
Calories: 223.2

This pedometer app, Pedometer GPS Free, is the nicest one I’ve tried. It just feels smoother for some reason. I have a tendency to stroll and get lost in my thinking while walking. This pedometer keeps me moving faster and paying attention to why I’m walking in the first place.

It is a great feeling to start the day in the negative concerning how many calories I can eat. This app also tells me to stay away from certain foods if I want to lose weight faster. The issue is certain foods have “a high glycemic index which means they are easily stored up as fat.”  Most of them I can get on-board with eliminating…the usual white breads and potatoes, instant rice, etc. But then it mentions carrots, corn, melons, grapes, bananas and watermelon. No, no and no. Their advice might be sound but I’m not staying away from the latter foods, especially watermelon. My daughter says that watermelon is God’s favorite fruit and I believe her. I believe I’ll be fine staying away from fast food, colas, breads, etc. But watermelon? Not a chance. I lost 8 pounds in a week by exercising twice a day and eating healthy. I’ll stick with that format and try not to fall off the wagon again.