Single dads! It is time to start formulating ideas of what you are doing for the holidays. Why?

1. Not looking like an idiot is a good first start. Did Santa forget to put enough stocking stuffers last year? Could you have really made an impact with a small gift that just “slipped” by you? Many things come to mind the actual morning of Christmas.
2. Not having to chase your tail during the holidays is a close second. It feels good to take the time to actually think about what your children would want for Christmas. Maybe now is a good time to start listening to them so you can make more accurate purchases for them.
3. And the most important…your children deserve it.

I’ll admit it. I’m still adjusting to everything that goes with being a single dad. I do many things wrong. Most of what I do wrong are things that my ex-wife would previously do, like sending out Christmas cards and fully decorating so that the house is enveloped with the Christmas spirit. It could be a personality trait or just the fact that I conveniently forget about such things. Nonetheless, I have to get better.

I have spent two years as a single dad for the Christmas season. I’ve done pretty good, all things considered. Men just don’t do all the little things that women do. I have found that these “little things” are much of what children come to expect during the holidays.

So this is a jump start on reminding you (myself) to begin thinking about the holidays. Christmas is now.

All the women in my life used to go to the dollar store. They swore by it. I never paid attention. Married guys don’t go to dollar stores. Since I’ve been divorced, I do many things that I did not previous do. If I don’t, things don’t get done.

These damn dollar stores are frustrating. I hate them because I still do not pay enough attention to pricing at various grocery stores to know if, in fact, these “dollar store” prices were actually better prices. They don’t seem like it, so I treat them like a larger convenience store. I make it a rule never to buy perishables at these stores. Too scary.

But yesterday I accompanied my dad to a “Dollar Tree”. This place looked like a Christmas decorative orgy. As I have not began this year’s decorations (I wait until after Thanksgiving like most people), I began to look at some of the eye-catching items that I might purchase.

“How much is this?” I asked the closest worker.

“One dollar.” she answered, with the clear impression on her face that I was an idiot.

So I picked up something else. “And this…?”

Another lady who was standing near me interjected, “It’s all a dollar. You are at a Dollar Tree. Nothing is priced above a dollar.”

“BEHOLD!”, I sang in my inside voice.

And then I got the hell out of there before I spent all my money.

1. You have to decorate. Your children expect it and you’ll look like an ass if you don’t. The added benefit to to decorating is that your children really love the festive atmosphere. You’ll be an ass if you don’t measure up to their expectations of what Christmas is supposed to be like.

2. Don’t decorate like your ex-wife. My first thoughts were to make sure that I matched how my ex-wife decorated. WRONG. This is your time to be yourself and put some thought into decorating the way you would do it. Last year was my first year of taking on Christmas without my ex. At first it was overwhelming. Then I went to the Hobby Lobby (insert your local gigantic craft store here).

Your local craft store will take care of the basics for you. These stores are ALWAYS running sales and you can be damn festive in no time. Think of this as your foundation. (I’m making a check list for later…after Thanksgiving). There are women all over this store and virtually everyone of them (employees and shoppers) will help you because you are one of those fathers that give a damn. I had no fewer than three women (last year) stop me to compliment what a “good job” I was doing with the kids. It wasn’t a mistake that I was maybe one of two men in the entire store, and the other guy was not there by choice.

So back to it…be your own decorating man. Putting a little thought into this process is important because your kids will light up at your enthusiasm for the project (s). Yes, get them involved with decorating your home. Why? Because it gives them ownership and makes them feel more comfortable. Christmas at two places is lame and they know it. Everybody knows it. So the best way to deal with it is to bring as much fun into the activity.

Think of things that your wife doesn’t do. Hand make ornaments together or go chop your own tree. Buy overalls for the trip into the woods and take pictures of how foolish you look together. Frame these pictures and put them up for the next Christmas.

3. Split up the days of decorating. Don’t try and cram it all into one session with the children. Picking the tree should be a night unto itself. Dinner. Getting the tree. Putting it up and getting the decorations ready. Make hot chocolate. Roast s’mores. Do something “Kid Fun”.

4. Have projects that start right before Thanksgiving. Why? If you are a dad that only has your children every other weekend, then you need time to really get something out of the process with your children. Make the projects smaller to bigger as you get closer to Christmas. Make them fun and take lots of pictures.

This is my first reminder (mainly to myself) to get going. Don’t forget. Your ex’s have been shopping for the holidays the entire year, and this you know is true.

When we scheduled this vacation, I had no idea that the Harry Potter attraction was opening a mere 3 days before we would get there. Let me just say…there is some real obsessing going on with Harry Potter. People were willing to wait hours (up to six was my highest account) just to get in the “village”. Not much need for that if you are willing to wait until the end of the day to get in the village when all the hysteria of the day is over.

If you are taking your children to Universal, you have three, maybe four, things you really need to pay attention to:

1) The Castle. This is, by far, the attraction that you must go on. The line actually takes you through the castle before you actually get to the ride. You have the talking paintings on the wall and you’ll walk by Dumbledore’s office and through a classroom. The characters are represented by holograms that talk to you as you pass through. The ride is similar to the Spiderman ride (for those of you who have visited Universal before).

Kids will love the ride. It is a combination of a movie experience (that you feel like you are a part of) and haunted house in 4D. Make the castle your top priority.

2) The Wand Shop (Ollivander’s). Never went in as the line was too long. My children showed little interest so we decided to spend our valuable time at the park doing other fun things. I would have like to have walked through, but not at the expense of an hour-plus wait. This was the second longest line behind the castle.

3) Honeydukes Confectionary. My daughter HAD to get into this store (which also builds a line). It is really just a candy store, but it carries the Jelly Beans highlighted in the first film. My daughter also had to have a Chocolate Frog.

4) Butter Beer. This is a stand (kiosk) in the middle of the village that sold Butter Beer and alot of it. $10 if you want the collector’s mug and around $4 for a plastic cup. We got the icy kind. Pretty good stuff and worth the try.

As I said before, the hype of the attraction draws people early. Wait and go towards the end of the day and avoid the longer lines.

Christmas is over and the only way I survived it was by my new friend, Hobby Lobby. What masks as a store that you “never want to go in” is really the store that will cover all your needs (and your ass) for the “small” stuff that your ex wife was so good at. Where did she get these things that make your house look like the holidays…Easter, Christmas, Halloween?

The craft stores…that is where. I have a few craft stores around me, but Hobby Lobby really saved my ass this Christmas season. All (I mean ALL) of the decorations for the tree and around the tree came from Hobby Lobby. And I was starting from scratch as this was my first Christmas as a solo adult and parent. Tinsel, garland, ornaments, the Santa on top of the tree, stockings, stocking holders (for those of us without a fireplace and mantel)…everything.

For that real Christmas look that women achieve!

The real trick is really no trick at all: I was really into it. I wanted my children to have a Christmas at my house that did not pale in comparison to that of their mother’s. My ex is good at Christmas. Her house looked nice…with all the stuff that used to be in my house! But I did pretty damn good and it is all because of craft stores.

For those of you that just plain suck at this, get out your iPhone (which everyone should have) and punch in “Crafts” on your G00gle Search. Something should come up. Go to that place and give it a walk-through. You will need this place during the holidays. For that matter, call any cute gal you’ve been wanting to date and ask her to take you. Make it fun, but do it so you won’t be the odd man out during the holidays.

My 1st Christmas as a newly divorced dad. Very awkward. I woke up on Christmas day by myself. Not what I had imagined for myself at this stage in my life, but that was the reality. And now that I know that nothing trumps reality, I also know that I have to be 100% prepared for Christmas and every other holiday that comes along. This ain’t lip service. The stakes are high because little ones keep score.

Let me clarify before I get started. There is no one way to do Christmas, but you absolutely have to be prepared for whatever you do decide on.

I did pretty damn good if I do say so myself. My tree is spectacular (I have grown attached and I’m not bringing it down until it starts to dry up). I also succeeded with my big presents for the kids. They both love their presents. Santa brought cool presents, as well.

Here is where I need improvement:

1. More stocking stuffers. These should be easy, but I did not make the stockings appear full enough. I could tell the kids wanted more. A few more small, cool things would have really added to the moment. It would not have cost much more to do so. Note to self: Ask more questions about what they are interested in and stop the guessing game.

2. More presents. Don’t take this the wrong way. I do not believe I would be acting on my children’s behalf if I bought them too much, but like the stockings, I just needed more small stuff that they could unwrap. Note to self: It is the unwrapping that is so important.

3. More goodies. To be honest, I don’t know what the hell I mean by this. Maybe I’m just thinking about color…for the place to look more festive. I actually did a pretty good job at this, but Christmas needs more, more and more.

I’m loaded with ideas for the next go ’round. Done right, there is no competition with your ex. Done right and the whole experience is about the children.